Please relax. Everything is okay. There is nothing to fear. I am a friendly alien. My name is The Great Shpotted Waxoolythub. You may call me Shpots for short. I am an emissary from the planet Threadshpot.
I am here to set your mind at ease regarding your human blogging friend, Super Earthling. I assure you that we Threadshpotonians are not deceptive human flesh eaters like another of Super Earthling’s alien friends, Eegore.
Nor are we unfamiliar with Earthlings and their ways, such as Gogee Grapula. And we cannot become tainted by lazy Earthling mannerisms like the unfortunate Interplanetary Dumbass.
The Threadshpotonians have whisked Super Earthling away (it sounds much more benevolent than abducted) to a secure and secluded encampment on our friendly planet, where miners mine for chocolate rather than gold.
This action became necessary so that she can focus exclusively on her writing. Don’t worry, we have provided her with copious amounts of coffee and chocolates to help nourish her creative juices.
As you may remember, Super Earthling has tested positive for the dreaded procrastination gene, a heinous genetic disorder that has wreaked havoc throughout her tiny brain. Earth presented far too many distractions, causing her to spend a ridiculous amount of time procrastinating on Facebook, Twitter, and watching inane reality TV shows like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (seriously, Earthlings, what is wrong with you?), when she should have been writing. You can see that removing Super Earthling from Earth was our only recourse.
While Super Earthling has been eager to draw new images for her blog, we have prevented her from doing so because it is counterproductive to her writing goals. We have regimented her every waking hour so that when she is not sleeping or writing, she is counteracting the effects of all the Threadshpotonian chocolate she’s been eating by doing this:
And plenty of this:
We will return Super Earthling to her home planet when we are satisfied with her writing progress.
-- The Great Shpotted Waxoolythub (a/k/a Shpots)…roger wilco, over and out
I had to do a double take I thought she is counteracting the effects by eating this: I was convinced that a box of diet box could not be very tasty. I am glad you are treating our Super Earthling well ;-)
ReplyDeleteDon't keep her too long! And make sure you keep plenty of chocolate there for her. We female earthlings do our best work when that is our fuel.
ReplyDeleteThank GAWD her workout attire is still color coordinated. We wouldn't want her fashion sense to go to pot while abducted.
ReplyDeleteTake good care of our friend, Super Earthling...oh and a special thank-you for taking her away from watching Honey Boo Boo. That crap will ruin a good brain.
ReplyDeleteI think I've been affected by the dreaded procrastination gene myself -- inherited, I'm assured, from my father.
ReplyDeleteWe shall not discuss my exercise or diet life (because I'm babbling about it plenty on my blog) but suffice it to say, I'm interested to see how long it takes to undo a month's worth of "interesting" eating choices on my own behalf :)
Someone needs to abduct me and take me off to another site so that I can also get some writing done! Take care of Super Earthling!!
ReplyDeleteDon't keep our Super Earthling for long. We need her here.
ReplyDeleteLOL I love this! Such a fun cute way to find out where you are XO
ReplyDeleteGo easy on those chocolates, Super Earthling.
ReplyDeletePlease bring her back soon. With the recipe for not only the chocolate but an antidote.
ReplyDeleteMay I recommend Freedom, an internet-blocking software? It's the only way I can get any writing done!
ReplyDeleteI shall wait with baited breath for her return!
ReplyDeleteWell thank goodness she has copious amounts of coffee and chocolates to help nourish her creative juices!!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I totally understand the procrastination gene. And losing massive amounts of time to Facebeook, Twitter, Blogs, and Reality TV.
Hello, Shpots. It's good to see that someone has been able to get this loonatic under control. It's probably for the better if you don't pass that particular part of the message along, but if she earns any leisure time at all there, please tell her that her old follower, Jack, has featured Super Earthling as his Site of the Week at http://jackshideout.com ~ Thanks, and keep the discipline coming; she desperately needs it!
ReplyDeleteHah, love the pictures! And I can relate to the one with the bottled water and healthy veggie, so funny!
ReplyDeleteLike your work.
ReplyDeleteI love fun, some Artist's are too serious, don't ya think?
yvonne
Just make sure that her chocolate is mad from the cocoa of free-range-holy-unicorns or Super Earthling may spontaneously combust, wrecking your spaceship with her insides. (Do you have any Febreze aboard your mothership?)
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