The only reason I’m even posting today is because I’m a deeply altruistic, hugely responsible and caring adult, whose only interest is the benefit and wellbeing of mankind…and bloggerkind. Therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to make a public service announcement:
You may be wondering exactly how it is that I came to be aware of the above cautionary statement. As with most lessons learned, personal experience is by far the best teacher.
The first traumatizing occurrence happened at dinner while I was blissfully enjoying some of my delicious homemade tacos. I’m a great cook who’s also a foodaholic, therefore this delicious meal should have been a time of tremendous pleasure and heartfelt elation. But instead…
Yes. Yes, it was just as horrid as you can possibly imagine. Have you ever heard your eyeball scream? Trust me, it’s not a pretty sound. I was deeply chagrined to say the least.
My chipotle chagrin created more agony than most human beings endure in a lifetime…so you’d think, wouldn’t you, that I deserved a break after suffering such eye-blistering angst.
Later that night as I relaxed in front of the TV, whining both internally and externally about how unfair life is and how I’ve had way more than my share of chagrin to deal with, I decided to soothe my flaming eyeball torment. Like any card-carrying foodaholic worth their salt, I chose to ease my pain by enjoying a tasty snack. Oh my God, oh my God…OH MY GOD!!!
The sensation of salt seeping into my already chipotle-wounded eyeballs created such soul-searing pain that I could never begin to explain the deep, dark, torturous level of my chagrin.
Did this really happen, you may be wondering. Did Susan, Super Earthling, honestly and truly lose her mind and travel to the land of idiocy not once but twice on the same night?
Yes. And I have the scorched, salty eyeballs to prove it.
--Super Earthling…roger wilco, over and out
NOTE: If this post brought a smile to your day, please share it and help spread the word to everyone on the planet about Super Earthling. Thanks!