In this Super Earthling Life Lesson you learned the vital importance of staying on your diet. The chilling incident above details merely one of the many possible pitfalls of being a lying, cheating, chocolate-obsessed dieter whose caloric transgressions are so deceitful and blatant they’re worthy of summoning Satan, Satan’s minions, and God into the same nightmare. The one good thing is you might get a holy teddy bear and a holy unicorn from God.
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--Susan, Super Earthling…roger wilco, over and out